Things We Couldn't Say

I just finished an amazing book called "Things We Couldn't Say," the story of Diet Eman, a Christian woman who lived in the Netherlands during WWII and worked with the underground resistance and helped protect Jews. It is a very graphic, genuine account of her life, including her thoughts, prayers and frustrations during all of the sufferings she went through while helping others. Diet's decisions bring up very interesting moral questions that I have never had to face, since she had to decide whether to obey what the Nazis were telling her to do, whether to lie to them, who she could help and who she could trust, etc. However, the message I found most important from her story was the truth of God's promise that gave Diet hope throughout all she went through, the words of Jesus that she carved, at one point, in Dutch into her prison wall, "Behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age." I believe there is a reason Jesus gave these as some of his last words, knowing that we would need to remember this promise especially through the sufferings that we are privileged to go through for his sake. I recommend this book for everybody.

Quran Burnings

I have had many thoughts and questions as a result of the planned burnings of the Quran in Florida this Saturday.

The biggest question in my mind is this: What does it mean that Jesus' Kingdom is not of this world, and how then do we who love him also fight the spiritual battle we are in, specifically against the lies of Islam that enslave people we love to an oppressive life and eternal death? (Yes, it's a mouthful of a question when I actually put it into writing!)

Then part of me wonders, what if this guy is right? That possibility scares me, and it's hard to explain why.

This is my only personal conclusion: I know what I believe about Islam. I think it is a powerful, manipulative force of falsehood and evil that is sweeping the entire world. Most significantly, it keeps people from knowing and loving the real Jesus. We are in a war for the glory of God and the souls of men and women, whether we ever realize it and fight or not. I want to fight this war whole-heartedly, just as Jesus did. He gave his life to conquer sin and death and to put Satan and all evil powers to shame. All I know to do is to pray and to proclaim the gospel in word and deed. The times of killing people and burning their property is over. God's Kingdom is not of this world, so we don't use weapons of this world. I feel like this Pastor in Florida is truly zealous but ignorant and misguided. I want to and ought to love and serve my individual Muslim friends, to seek more of them, understand their world view, love them, and be prepared to well-articulate to them the truth that Jesus is our only hope. I want to pray earnestly and ask God if I should be one of the people to go to a highly Muslim populated area to be a light for Jesus.

New Rhymes

I would like to share some lines I enjoyed writing recently.

Crucified with Christ
Justified by faith
Incredibly surprised
To stand in Jesus' place

For he came down and stood
Where I deserve to stand
Nailed to a cross of wood
Blood dripping down his hands

Paying out in full
What I deserved to pay
Tragic, dark 'Place of the Skull'
Then on God's judgment day

Angels bow to you,
Kings and rulers, too,
And yet I see you do
Have so much care for who?

For anyone who will
Quite honestly confess
That he was hopeless 'til
He saw your righteousness

I see he offers us
Life so abundantly
It's metamorphosis,
He's really changing me

To follow in his steps
I'll daily reach for him.
Discovering the depths
Of mercy he has given.

I take his righteousness
And immortality,
and ne'er grow tired of this:
My God is pleased with me

And though my greatest deeds
Are just a crappy pile,
O, for a heart that beats
to see my Father smile

To know my Father well
And nothing more than this,
I trust no one can tell
Me of a greater bliss.

David Brainerd

I just started over reading The Life and Diary of David Brainerd. It is very interesting and encouraging to read and see into the heart of this man. He struggled so long and hard to try to earn God's love by being disciplined in prayer and bible study but found it so hard to meet God's Law's demands especially on our thoughts and affections. He found that every time he thought he was doing well, he was really acting out of pride and selfishness, not for God's glory. He finally found the sweet truth that we can never earn a right standing before God but must submit completely to the righteousness that Jesus offers. I love this quote from the time the gospel became so real to him...

"I wondered that all the world did not see and comply with this way of salvation, entirely by the righteousness of Christ."

He is one cool puritan.

Remember the Cross

I just read the first two chapters of Jeremiah tonight and realized how little my view of sin and, in turn, Jesus is. Throughout the overtone of the whole dialogue, it should be obvious to any reader that God is a personal, emotional being. He is sad, angry, confused and frustrated over the inconsistent and unfaithful hearts of his people. They have the ridiculous ideology to turn away from loving and delighting in God in order to pursue worthless things. That's the word God repeats again and again. Worthless. It even made them become worthless. The hard part is to realize that I have the same ridiculous tendencies, whether I always realize it or not. It's sickening how easily I can forget that God is a person, my Father, my best friend, and settle to be happy with all the stuff I can get from him. What am I talking about specifically? One thing, for example, is the realization I had a few days ago that the only time I tend to talk with God is when I have absolutely nothing else to do and no one else to talk with. I've been doing that instead of making it my joy and my business to remember God. Is that how to treat your best friend, the one you enjoy the most?

Maybe it's not that big of a deal when I do that, though, right? No, no, NO! That gets to the very heart of why Jesus came to die. He, the unique Son of God, always at the Father's right hand, his best friend, had to die, to be forsaken, in order to make my twisted heart clean. That is an enormous price to pay for something that is not that big of a deal.

Thank you God for that reminder from Jeremiah.

Home

I haven't posted anything new for a while, and that is mostly because I have been trying to work through some important personal decisions. I didn't mean to cut myself off from anyone but have been trying to discuss things that have been on my heart with just a few people.

I decided I needed to come back to the US, to Tennessee a bit early. After praying considerably, talking with mentors and eMi staff, and writing out all my thoughts and feelings, I decided to come home two months early. It was a tough decision but one in which I have an increasing amount of peace.

Before leaving, I was able to say goodbye to my closest Ugandan friends and all my eMi workmates. I even got to go fishing with Denis and Mathias! It was the first time I ever ate a fish that I caught myself. That was a great time to enjoy together with them before leaving.

I left Tuesday morning, May 18th, and arrived in London at 4pm. I had a one night layover and decided to venture into the city and see what I could. I walked around the city for a few hours and saw some of the famous places. London is a beautiful place! I slept in the hostel and left early Wednesday morning to catch my flight to Chicago, on which I was able to lie down across three seats and sleep like a baby while listening to country music.

Celebrations

This past weekend, our office manager, Semei, had a traditional Ugandan "introduction" and wedding. That made me forgive him for not paying the internet bill last week. Sometimes things can preoccupy your mind, and that's OK.

An introduction is a Buganda tradition. Buganda is the largest tribe in Uganda. In an introduction, the groom and his family is introduced to the bride, her family and friends. There are gifts, dancing, traditional dresses, shouting for joy, and plenty of other traditions.

The introduction was on Friday, and the wedding ceremony, much more similar to an American ceremony, was on Saturday, followed by a reception. I thought Semei was not enjoying himself throughout all the ceremonies. His bride was dancing and looked incredibly happy, but Semei was not dancing much at the introduction. But, then, at the wedding, he put on his dancing shoes! He was spinning Winnie (his new bride) and hopping all around the place. Later, he explained to me that you should usually be very serious at the introduction, since you are making a first impression on the parents.

I am glad the same was not true of the wedding reception, because it was a joy for me to see this new family's fresh joy of a new life together. Dancing must be one of the most clear and natural expressions of joy God gave us. I look forward so much to the joyful day when Cristal and I will be dancing for joy to celebrate our new life together! Even more, how about the dancing when we celebrate the marriage supper of Jesus? No one is going to have to tell me to dance, they just might have to ask me to stop!

On Sunday, I was lured away on a boda-boda (motorcycle) ride to a surprise half-birthday party. I had no idea what was coming or that it was even my half birthday! It was a fun celebration, as well, and we ate Indian food with my favorite dessert... hot-fudge brownie Sundae. Notice the long-horn cattle in the background of the restaurant pictures. Those cows are beautiful, and I see them as they're herded up and down the streets every day.

I finished the book I was reading, "4 Views on Hell," and am looking forward to talking with Brad, our eMi director who recommended it to me, all about my thoughts. It seems to me that the main problem with Clark Pinnock's annihilation view, which Brad agrees with, is that it is held up by a theology which places man and man's rights at the center of the universe. Is God not at the center of everything? Does He really care more about man than he does about himself?

Today I am starting to read "The Life and Diary of David Brainerd," edited by Jonathan Edwards. Has anyone ever read that one?